game of your dream

25 10 2008

[By Shideh]   UC Berkeley had a football game against UCLA today.  Typically, these games have quite an impact on everything in town, most importantly transportation and parking become almost impossible.  How lively it is to fight for winning though, to have a favorite team, and to show your support for something you relate to.  Today, while I work at a café next to the football stadium in Berkeley, I am witnessing hundreds of students and alumni from both universities walk by wearing UCLA or Berkeley shirts, hats, or shorts.  Many have brought their children, and of course the children are wearing shirts with the name and colors of their parents’ favorite school.  As I write, Berkeley’s marching band passes by with the loudest drums and a few hundred uniformed students marching Bancroft Avenue while the crowd waves at them with open smiles.  I am automatically a part of this excitement as I hear that Berkeley has won the game: 41 by 22.  Why do I care? What is it that is so exciting about being a part of a community united for a purpose, a community that has a team and is relating to that team to feel better or to fight against something in common?  Would I be disappointed in Berkeley if she had lost the game? Perhaps, but I think not for long; I would probably continue smiling and congratulate the UCLA folks passing by.


 Photo courtesy of nybox6



I recently had a job interview in England and did not get the job.  When I was invited to interview for a faculty position that seemed to be a dream job at the time, I remember getting extremely nervous to even attend the interview fearing for the outcome.  I wished I had not applied for the job at all and thought it was too early for me to do this as I was not prepared and not even close to graduating.  My father told me something that completely changed my attitude, which is why I want to talk about sports.  He said: “this interview is like a football match of your dream.  You are invited to play in your national team against another excellent team.  What matters is that you play for the sake of playing, the excitement, the glory of the game in itself – pay no attention to the results.  Life is not about the outcome, it’s about the game.  You will go and you will play your best and will enjoy the game regardless of the results. Do not pre-judge, judge, or post-judge the outcome.  Just play…”




5 responses

25 10 2008

nicely written..

26 10 2008

i loved your father’s take on life. it is so true but hard to remember a lot of times!

and yes! community psychology is my passion, just imagine the power of communities when they come together if they do. it can be extremely constructive if utilized in the right way.

you know, it is great that you got an interview for your dream job, it means you are qualified you probably need more time that’s all!

i am so busy these days with work and school and papers and research and baby and all, but i do follow my favourite blogs every chance i get

be good Shideh jaan and keep playing joyfully!

26 10 2008
Hooman Hosseinpour

How nice!
I really enjoyed your fathers’ statement. He is absolutely right. I love his golden expression … very impressive; I will remember it for ever …

We should always remember that referees also can make a mistake, and it does not mean that we should afraid of playing a game. The term, “result”, by itself can be meaningless since it is affected by the way we interpret it, so it is not a fact, but maybe an excuse for doing a game. I have seen many matches whose winners were not necessarily the best players, so the results do not necessarily show anything. As your dear father said (I like to repeat it), life is not about the outcome, it’s about the game and how well we play it. Just play your best and enjoy the game … Just play and remember your pure intentions …

Do you remember my case? Woww … Wonderful days come true. Again, I love his statement; please give my regards to him. Thank you for sharing … Thank you.

Take care,
P.S. I would be more excited if this match would be a WIN-WIN game (Both UCLA & UC Berkeley would be winner). You know why …. 😀

27 10 2008

Dear Shadi and Hooman jaans,
thanks for your comments. I’m glad you two liked my Dad’s advice. His words definitely made me feel much better before and after the interview.

Dametoon Garm.
have a good night and khoob o khosh baasheen hamisheh,

13 11 2008

Dear Shideh
I read it again and again, and again,
“Don’t pre-judge, judge, or post-judge the outcome. Just play…”
It was so interesting to me that I couldn’t not to react somehow. I couldn’t not to leave any comment:
This is my feeling:
“Wow! Very nice perspective to life (not to deal with difficult situations in the life)”
When we are thinking of the action itself we make it better, we act regardless of the outcome, we deeply focus.
In Asian schools of thought like Zazen, “you think without thinking”, I mean sometimes we are so concerned about the way of reaching the goal that we lose the goal itself, sometimes we are so concerned about the results that we lose our concentration.
Sometimes, we are so concerned about the marginal things, about the outcome, about the future, that we lose the present moment, the play itself.
As your father said stick the moment, present moment, just play,…, just meditate, just leave your soul, just empty your mind, just think without thinking, just play and enjoy your playing, just live in the present moment forever!
Take care

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